Does this count as a link exchange in eyes of google?
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If I see a site is linking to my site in an article I will often find a way to include them in one of my updates (if the site is of good quality). Does this count as a link exchange since they are linking to me and I am also linking to them?
Or is that only if it is a sidebar kind of link?
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You should be fine as long as it looks natural and the site is industry related and you dont over do this tactic.
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Personally, I would be a bit more cautious. If every time someone links to you there is evidence that you link back it will appear to be an exchange. I wouldn't say you need to abandon it completely but it would seem to me that over a long period of time it would make you appear like you were out seeking link exchanges.
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Link Exchange is basically you giving a anchor text to another website, and they do the same. Hence link exchange. It used to influence rankings a few years back, but seems to have lost power.
The trick now is to put valuable content out there, and people will link to you. No need to exchange anymore.