What Are Roger's Super Powers?

[DanielFreedman]

I ended up with a box of SEOMOZ swag. (Thanks! As to how this came to pass...I shall draw a veil, as they used to say in Victorian novels.)

My upstairs neighbour Max, age 5, enjoys a rich fantasy life and is very much into superheroes and costumes. Naturally, he ended up with a lot of the Roger stickers.

Alas, I was unable to answer all of Max's  questions.

When he asked: "What does Roger do?" I replied:

"Roger makes your computer work." Pretty good, I thought.

But then Max asked:

"What does the antenae do?" I was kind of stumped.

Then it got worse.  Max asked what Roger's superpowers are and if he could beat Spiderman. I tried to change the subject. Max wasn't impressed.

What are the answers?

Enquiring five year old minds want to know!

[FedeEinhorn]

Hmmm he can read REALLY fast? At least that seems what he is doing in the community page http://www.seomoz.org/community

[DanielFreedman]

Okay, this is a start. Roger's antennae  allows him to draw power from the sun do he can read really fast.

But what are his other superpowers? And could be beat Spiderman.

[FedeEinhorn]

I don't know. But I am now subscribed to this question

[MattAntonino]

Well, he seems to be made of both bone and metal.

http://www.mythicmarketer.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/The-TAGFEE-Tenets-SEOmoz.png

He can change size:

http://mozcationportsmouth.com/wp-content/uploads/MozCation-2012-Roger1.jpg

He can plug himself into other machines:

http://designwisecustomgraphics.com/Rev%203/slices/slices/Roger-Moz-Bot-illustrations(2).png

And most importantly, he can self-heal.

https://seomoz.zendesk.com/attachments/token/zvrbz74z9b3jy51/?name=broken-roger.png

[FedeEinhorn]

Apparently, he can also fix your roof or repair a bed

http://www.seomoz.org/img/sprites/changelog.png

[DennisSeymour]

Oh, I think he can also analyse & translate "Ancient Alien" vocabulary with his right eye.

http://www.mozcationlima.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/ROGER-chanchan.jpg

[KeriMorgret]

Spiderman versus Roger is an interesting thing to ponder. They both do like webs, though of different types. Roger may be a bit too robust when it comes to scaling the side of a building, but he really knows his way around the world wide web.

I'd say they could be good pals! Spiderman could help fight crime, and Roger would be there to make sure that everyone who was looking for information about Spiderman online could find it.

Roger helps make the internet work better, as well as sending hugs and smiles.

If Max doubts that Roger is real, you can show him this video of the Harlem Shake where he can see that not only is Roger real, but he has some good dance moves, too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGzP3oShkYo

[EricaMcGillivray]

I don't know how much sun he gets in Seattle and Portland though.

[DanielFreedman]

Little known fact: Roger's antennae  have invisible extenders that reach above the clouds.

[FedeEinhorn]

Or it could be like Bender's and be completely useless and just messing up with TV reception? By the way, is Roger Bender's brother?

http://static.betazeta.com/www.belelu.com/up/2011/05/futurama-bender.jpg

http://www.seomoz.org/blog/the-evolution-of-roger

[Dr-Pete]

I'm with Keri that, in this reality, Roger would never fight Spider-Man. It's just not TAGFEE. Let's say, though, that Spider-Man is infested by the Venom Symbiote and turns temporarily evil, forcing Roger to intervene. How would this play out?

The closest comparison to Roger in the Spider-Man villain entourage is almost definitly Doctor Octopus. Doc Oc has the advantage of having more arms than Roger, but Roger has the advantage of not having a squishy head that can pop. So, I'd call it roughly a toss-up. We know Doc Oc has bested Spider-Man on occasion, so Roger has a fighting chance.

Roger has limited distance attacks, whereas Spider-Man has his web shooters. At best, web shooters would probably only temporarily immobilize Roger. Roger's large eyes are fairly wide apart, and his antenna has additional sensors, so Roger can't be easily blinded with webbing like a humanoid opponent can. Spidey's primary advantage is outdoors surrounded by tall buildings. Being from Seattle, Roger stays indoors, because what's the point of going outside? Also, coffee shops and micro-breweries aren't very tall. So, on home-turf, I think Spider-Man's long-range attack advantages are small, but I'll still lean toward Spidey.

At close range, Roger has one formidable attack. You may know about his Hugs/Destroy switch. What you may not know is that Roger's most powerful attack is also hug-based. His arms, in battle mode, are capable of intense crushing power, roughly equal to 14 Benders from Futurama (see issue #17 of "Adventures in TAGFEE"). If Roger can get Spidey close enough, his close range strength can incapacitate even the Venom Symbiote. Advantage: Roger.

Finally, the Venom Symbiote is vulnerable to sound waves and flame, both of which Roger is impervious to. So, Roger could just crank up his Metallica playlist and set himself on fire. Advantage, Roger.

[DanielFreedman]

Great answer, missing only SOJCA.