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Definitely a frustrating problem! After taking a look at your site, it might actually be overly optimized for the term "swinger." Specifically, it shows up on your homepage (in the various sections) in the text 122 times. This is an older, but still good WBF from Cyrus talking about over optimization and how it can hurt you. A quick look at your backlink profile for your homepage shows not very links that are followed and aren't on low-quality and potentially spammy directories, as you mentioned. Building quality links back to your site will definitely help. Getting more content built will definitely let you build links a lot better. When it comes to content and social media in the adult space, PornHub is really leading the innovation. They wrote a great article about what they do for our blog. Definitely when it comes to content, part of the problem with your site is that everyone is behind a log-in and thus, behind closed doors for Googlebot. I haven't seen anyone in the swinger space really own content and social; and that could definitely set your company apart. Hope that gives you somewhere to start!