Welcome to the Q&A Forum

In my case, xml-sitempas works extremely good. I fully understand that a DB solution would avoid the crawl need, but the features that I get from xml-sitemaps are worth it. I am running my website on a powerful dedicated server with SSDs, so perhaps that's why I'm not getting any problems plus I set limitations on the generator memory consumption and activated the feature that saves temp files just in case the generation fails.